Last night, I stepped out of my hermit shack and into a meeting with Rocky Mountain Equality, OneColorado, Congressman Joe Neguse, Senator Michael Bennett, and Attorney General Phil Weiser. They’re fighting hard for us, but the reality is… it’s tough. Really tough.

I was especially encouraged by Weiser’s plans and approach. Yet, somehow, the more I listened, the weaker I felt. I disconnected from the call completely deflated.

For the most part, I’ve felt better since adopting my news hermit lifestyle—more grounded, less consumed by the daily churn of negativity. But last night was different. It forced me to engage in a way I haven’t in a while. And now? I feel despondent.

One of my kids summed it up perfectly: “News hermit emerges and gets gut punched.”

Yup.

And now I’m really rethinking it all. I wonder if these occasional gut punches actually hit harder—cause deeper “injury”—than the slow, daily erosion of a thousand bad news cuts.

Would I be happier, more mentally sound, if I rejoined the fray? If I stepped back into the cycle, stayed engaged, took the daily hits rather than the occasional knockout?

I don’t know. But I’m wondering.